tally marks

When I was younger (read: seven), I'd always have a notebook open while listening to a new CD. The name of each song would get a line in the notebook and I'd rate the music with tally marks -- five for a good song, three for okay, and one for a bad song. If I were to apply that same method to yesterday, it'd have ten strokes. Any day that involves shopping, cheesecake, time relaxing at the pool, friends, and gorgeous light deserves lots of tally marks.

While I may not rate days with marks anymore, I still record them in my journal. Just a spiral bound notebook, it's a place where I can record my days and the happy things that make a day go from good to making me want to scream "I love life" from the rooftops. I don't want to take for granted these precious, fleeting moments. Flipping through my journal and looking at past entries allows me to reminisce and relive the moments again.
"Summer evenings are one of my very very very favorite things. Yes, they're hot, but there's such a wonderful sense of peace and lightheartedness as you talk to neighbors outside while little ones run through the sprinklers", I wrote a few days ago. There are other happy, favorite bits, like an inspiring piano lesson, curling up on my brother's bed early in the morning while talking, and fresh cinnamon rolls.

We're in a severe drought at the moment. Rain is rare, and even when the heavens decide to send down droplets, it's usually not more than a light drizzle that lasts for five minutes. The lack of rain pared with scorching heat has left plants parched, and the grass is speckled with more brown than green. Going into survival mode, the trees have already started losing their leaves. I don't want summer to end, but I confess I'll breathe a sigh of relief once the temperatures have lowered and rain has returned (not to mention fall will bring some exciting things, like my older sister Alina, who's visiting in September. Squee!).

But even though everything's a bit brown, the light has been swoon-worthy recently. It illuminates the tiniest details of everything and bathes the world in a soft, golden glow.
In the daily list of favorites in my journal, the light has been included. After all, to a photographer, light is everything.

Going to the pool has been another frequent activity -- I alternated between floating around in the (warm) water and playing with MeMe and Lilly yesterday. Lilly learned how to swim this summer and she reminds me of Curious George as she glides and slithers through the water like a fish. Eyes wide open, hair hanging suspended in the water, and cheeks puffed out, it's a sight that makes me want to get a disposable underwater camera to capture it.

And as for working out? Sore is a word that accurately sums it all up. But it's a good, accomplished, blissful kind of sore; it tells me that I'm getting stronger. It's been another thing I've chronicled in my journal, another happy thing.

Do you journal?

Happy weekend, friends!

-carlotta

p.s. guest posting over here!

small steps

I've started working out every day this week. Before, exercising was a sporadic, whenever-I-think-of-it thing, but thanks to the Nike Training Club app, which is free and amazing, this may turn into something consistent (hold me accountable, y'all). Each time I want to give up, I visualize toned arms, a trim stomach, and keep on going. Bit by bit, I'm slowly advancing towards my goal. It's the small steps that ultimately end in a big accomplishment.

Yesterday I helped deliver food from the food pantry to some families who are down on their luck. The neighborhoods were full of homes with chipped, peeling paint, broken windows, and sagging roofs, a stark difference from the clean comfort I'm used to. We complained about the heat -- 112 degrees isn't exactly cool -- but we knew that when we got home, we'd be greeted by chilled air from the air conditioning. Some of these people didn't have that luxury. There is so much that they need and don't have; it made me wish I could do more than just bring food. But I suppose it's in small steps that they'll be able to get back on their feet.

The heat has demolished the tomato and squash plants, but the basil, sage, and arugula have thrived. Aromatic and fresh, there's truly nothing better than herbs from the garden.

In the blogging community, it's easy to become jealous of someone else's life, sometimes to the point of being completely consumed with wishing you had that person's life. But I'm striving to be content with what I do have. Even if life is quiet at the moment, I know it'll become a whirlwind in a few short weeks.

Yes, life hasn't been very exciting as of late, but that's okay. I'm learning to embrace the lazy summer days as much as a days of traveling and seeing new things. Items are slowly being checked off my to do list with Mumford & Sons pandora station in the background (pure brilliance) and I'm reveling in the little things like coffee alongside yogurt.

left: old glasses found while cleaning out my dresser (oh dear) right: pinning on my (real) inspiration board

After all, it's these little things that accomplish something big, no?

How are you spending the last few weeks of summer?

-carlotta

p.s. there are a few more spots left for august sponsorship! pastor's girl's ponderings is a wonderful place to advertise your shop/blog. email me if you're interested :)

summer favorites.

It's nearing a month since my return from New Mexico and I miss it. In hindsight, living out of a suitcase, bugs, and dirt all seem so minor compared to the greatness of our trip. I miss the wide, wide open spaces, the brilliant cerulean skies, the time away from electronics, the closeness we had as a family. My traveling for the summer has come to a close, and while I'm glad to have a period of rest, I'm already itching to get going again. Traveling is in my blood; I love experiencing new things, seeing different landscape, and photographing along the way.

But I'm now home for the rest of summer and it has its perks as well. There's no sense in wishing for what can't come back -- I'm trying to focus on my favorite things here instead. After all, only a month remains of this glorious season; I may as well take advantage of it.

Favorites:

Experiencing the glory of cool, gentle rain. Yes, its duration was short, but it succeeded in dropping the temperature below 100 degrees for the first time in nearly a month. As I stepped outside, that delicious earthy smell of water hitting the hot pavement wafted to my nose and droplets splattered on me as I rejoiced.

necklace: store unknown (from germany) / shirt: target / skirt: forever 21 / shoes: target

 All things nautical. This may not be anything new, but I've fallen even more deeply in love, if that's possible. I naturally gravitate toward stripes -- which probably explains why much of my wardrobe consists of the pattern. When I went for to Forever 21 for the first time a few weeks ago (how have I never been there before? I wanted everything.), my purchases were all nautical related. Nautical Anonymous, anyone?

Knitting. It may be sweltering outside, but it's never too early to start for fall and winter. Call me crazy, but I love it. I find the repetition soothing and it gives my hands something to do while watching movies. There's something so satisfying in wearing things you've made with your own hands -- and so I knit.

Food photography. It's something that's not quite so easy to do while traveling. In the past few months, it's grown from simply a hobby to a passion. I'm not sure what it is, but there's nothing I love more that styling and photographing food.

Writing. And not just writing with pixels on a screen, but real writing, with a pencil and a notebook. In these past few years, I've noticed that it's become harder for me to form words physically instead of on a screen. I've begun writing blog posts on the lines of a spiral bound notebook and then transferred it onto the computer. Yes, it may be more work, but it's worth it in the end.

Going on walks around the neighborhood in the evenings. I walked with MeMe last night; the air, slightly cooled, wasn't as oppressing as  earlier in the day and the steady rhythm of our feet on the pavement was comforting as we talked. We stopped to pet the cat that always runs to greet us -- aptly nicknamed "the friendly cat" for obvious reasons  -- and the cat's purrs mixed with the soft hum of the cicadas in the trees. Oh how I love summer evenings.

Doilies hung on the backdoor. I adore doilies -- they're so dainty and add a touch of pretty to otherwise ordinary spaces.

What are some favorites of yours at the moment?

Happy Monday!

-carlotta

p.s. guest posting over here today!

cheesecake bars

I have an emotional attachment to certain dishes. Not in a creepy way, but in a sense that a flood of memories come back each time I eat these foods.

Like tortilla chips and ketchup, the latter in lieu of salsa. Weird? Perhaps. But it's something I've grown up with -- it evokes memories of sitting on the back porch in the hot Texas heat, the country music on the radio and the splash of water a backdrop to the make believe world my brother and I were shrouded it. It was different all the time -- sometimes it was store, other times it was house, and occasionally it was even Spider Man; he was Spidey, I was MJ.

Cheesecake is another one of those foods. On the Mother's Day when I was five, my mother made cheesecake. Before eating it, we went for a family bike ride in a nearby neighborhood. While pedaling along on the road, I was suddenly knocked off my bicycle by a pitbull. The dog worked its way from my upper arm to my neck, while my mother clung to my nearly two year old brother and my father tried to loosen the dog's grasp on me. I remember every detail of that day, down to my shirt, my favorite. It was white, with five multi-colored chicks (that is, baby chickens) across the front. (Thankfully, except for some bites and bruises, I was fine for the most part.) Now, each time I eat cheesecake, it's a juxtaposition of sweet and slightly bitter, remembering that day.

So far, this summer has been a myriad of lovely things -- vacations, lots of good books, stripes and coral toes, and some not-so-lovely heat. I don't mean to complain, but I don't think I've ever experienced anything this brutal. The heat index has been hovering around 110 degrees Fahrenheit for the past three weeks and it doesn't look like there will be a reprieve anytime soon. Iced beverages are always close at hand -- my choice of late has been, of course, lime infused ice water -- and the thought of eating warm dessert isn't exactly appealing.

I had a craving for cheesecake the other day; partly nostalgia induced, partly because it sounded delicious. While riffling through the binder that is home to miscellaneous recipes my mother has collected over the years, each piece of paper splattered with food stains, a sign of a well loved dish, I stumbled across a newspaper clipping. A recipe for cheesecake bars, it was the very same one my mother used to make all those years ago.

The butter and cream cheese went from the refrigerator to a plate outside in the sun to soften (who needs a microwave anyway?). The Kitchen Aid churned the ingredients together -- I tested the filling a bit more than necessary...ahem -- and everything went in the oven. As the aroma wafted throughout the house, I was reminded again of my childhood.

These cheesecake bars are incredible. My favorite way to eat them is with fresh sliced strawberries, but they would be delicious with anything. They're delicious for breakfast, too -- not that I would know anything about that.

Any favorite nostalgia-inducing recipes? Do tell!

cheesecake bars

(recipe for 8x8 pan; can be doubled and baked in a 9x13 pan)

ingredients

-- 5 tablespoons butter, softened

-- 1/3 cup brown sugar

-- 1 cup flour

-- 1/2 cup nuts, finely chopped

-- 1/2 cup granulated sugar

-- 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened

-- 1 egg

-- 2 tablespoons milk

-- 1 tablespoon lemon juice

-- 1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

make

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream butter and brown sugar; add flour and nuts and mix. Set aside one cup of mixture for topping. Press remainder in bottom of an 8-inch square baking pan and bake 12 to 15 minutes. In a bowl, blend granulated sugar and cream cheese until smooth. Add egg, milk, lemon juice, and vanilla. Beat well. Spread over bottom crust and sprinkle with the reserved topping. Return to oven and bake for 25 minutes. Let cool, then chill and serve. 

-carlotta

beauty.

Beauty. It's a word that's plastered all over. But while there's nothing wrong with being beautiful, the fashion industry, magazines, and newspapers all contort and give a skewed perception of it. Instead of natural and healthy it's now scarily skinny, heavily made up, and scantily clad. "Skinnier is better, lose weight now, how to transform yourself into the beauty you've always want to be," the press yells. Influenced by the media and peer pressure, it places so much pressure on teenage girls. With airbrushed, artificial models on the covers of magazines, it's hard not to become self conscious. Feeling worthless, ugly, and fat, so many are pushed into depression and eating disorders, disorders which confine and trap the soul.

I'm not going to lie -- I love makeup. I think it's wonderful that there are tools available to enhance natural beauty and make one prettier. Heck, I have blonde eyelashes -- mascara is my best friend. But at the same time, I loathe it.
When my face is void of any kind of product, it looks odd, unnatural even, so used am I to the made up version of myself. I feel ugly and insecure, and so I apply makeup to my skin day after day. But that's not the real me. The real me is hidden under a layer of falsity and deception that makes me seem far more beautiful than I really am.
I'm slowly working on gaining the confidence to go free of artificial cover ups. Bit by bit, I'm stepping closer to my goal of being able to leave the house completely bare faced without caring what anyone thinks of me.

Is this a superficial topic? Maybe. Because yes, I know that it's what's within that really matters, but as girls, we crave the feeling of being pretty and confident, and no matter how we try to get away from it, deep down, that longing is always there.

So I've been praying. Praying to the Lord to help me let go of all the artificial things and focus instead what is truly beautiful. It's hard, but I have trust that He will help me through this stage. But thanks be to God that He sent His Son to die on the cross for all our transgressions, including this feeling of insecurity. He's already taken care of it because He loves us, and for that, I don't know how to thank Him.

Happy Thursday, friends.

-carlotta

p.s. the giveaway winner is katie. congratulations! please email me :) (note: if winner doesn't respond within forty eight hours, a new winner will be chosen)

there's nothing half so pleasant as coming home again.

(quote: margaret elizabeth sangster)

"When you get married," Lilly asked, "can MeMe and I be your flower girls?" I smiled and promised them they could when the time came. Satisfied, she flashed a grin and skipped off, leaving me sitting in the dining room, happy to be with them again.

My room is in shambles (why must I make unpacking such a messy affair?), my hair is thrown in a loose bun, my to do list is a mile long, but I'm home and oh so glad. I missed my family -- and after being separated much more than normal this summer, there's nothing quite so sweet as the joyous screams my siblings emitted when I pulled into the driveway. As someone who spends a greater part of each day with them, being away from my family is an odd feeling. But sometimes, it's still good to take a break and spend some time away; it makes reuniting that much more mellifluous.

My father and I traveled to Illinois with my youth group for a conference. It was a cool eighty degrees nearly the entire time -- a welcome change from the sweltering triple digit temperatures we've been having in Oklahoma. The conference, Higher Things, was wonderful. I learned so much more about my faith and my friend/roommate/sister/partner-in-crime, Reagan, and I met so many amazing people. As I so often do at conventions and camps, I opted to leave my camera in our room and made mental images instead. (Anyone else struggle with the decision to just enjoy the moment or photograph the memories instead?)

Along the drive, which was about ten hours each way, we alternated between fits of uncontrollable laughter -- the best kind -- and site seeing. Among other things, we saw Abraham Lincoln's home in Springfield, Illinois, which was on a beautiful verdant tree lined street. Someday, when I have my own house, I'd like it to be on a road that is studded with tall, strong, leafy trees.

Road trips are always entertaining, like the stop we made at a gas station in a small town in southern Missouri. A broken down mobile home sagged in the lot next door and a tractor was in the adjourning repair shop. Pulling up next to us, four shirtless men ranging from age fifty to ten, with pants in danger of slipping, tumbled out of their car and into the building. Me? I just had to laugh.

Then there was the visit to my home of three years, St. Louis. It was the first time I'd been back in two years and I was overjoyed. I miss it. It was the place where I spent a large part of my childhood, the place I made best friends, the place that will always be special to me.

While we were away, the rest of the family surprised us by renovated the kitchen. A fresh coat of paint, new knobs from Anthropologie (where else?), open shelving, and reorganization -- I fell in love when I walked in.

//

I've decided that Sunday afternoons in the summer are one of my very favorite things. Perfectly lazy and relaxed, with time for doing quiet, satisfying things, like painting my toes and photographing (and eating) food.

lime infused water is like a slice of heaven. how have I never discovered this before? I may never be dehydrated again.

Nothing store bought can beat the taste of homegrown tomatoes and basil, sprinkled with salt and pepper. Simply divine.

And then adding Anthropologie to an already perfect afternoon? Swoon. I want everything. Their dishes? To die for. I swear, I'm going to start collecting them -- maybe starting with a farmer's egg crate and some latte bowls.

It's good to be home.

//

Notice anything different? The lovely Olivia kindly offered to redesign my blog and I'm in love (hint: hover over the header ;)). 

Other housekeeping matters: thank you (thank you, thank you!) to the amazing guest posters! Also, the giveaway winner will be announced soon :)

Have a lovely evening, friends.

-carlotta

Time For Tea {a guest post by Libby}

Hello there, I'm Libby, and I can't quite believe I'm blogging here. I'm so excited! Also, I like tea. It's a strange story--I drank coffee first, because it made me feel classy and sophisticated, exactly what I wanted living in this small village. But a few months later, I discovered the joys of a good old breakfast tea, and to me tea is part of my history. My dad's side of the family used to be involved in the tea trade, and my dad spent his childhood in Sri Lanka and Malawi whilst his father traded. With genealogy like that, I can't really escape the tea bags.

And to make time for tea, in a life that can so quickly becoming overwhelming? That is special. The ceremony to making a cup of tea is not complex, but I like to just take time to boil the kettle, stew the tea, stir the milk. And then, when I get to the drinking of the tea? When it's just me, my mind wanders. I sit at the kitchen table and write or doodle. If I'm drinking with my mum--the only other tea drinker here--we will chat about "shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings"... Everything under the sun.

So much can happen over a cup of tea, and it's all pretty easy on the eyes too. Most of my blog posts, in fact, are composed with a cup of tea or coffee in hand too, and I try and apply the whimsical and cheerful ideal of afternoon tea to all aspects of my life. Let's make time for tea every day!

Above, just a snapshot of the tea photos I've shared at my blog. I think we can safely say I'm smitten.
Thanks for reading. Do you drink tea? Thanks, Carlotta, for letting me talk about tea.

xx
Libby

13 & 86 simultaneously.

a picture taker & pretty-thing maker,

also, word weave, & book reader.

dress lover,

tea drinker, {coffee too}

cat snuggler and a blogger.

{blog, twitter, flickr}