my happy place

It's gently nestled between rolling hills that rise and fall as easily as breaths. A winding rough dirt trail carved out of nature that leads through meadows and forests and hidden caves, cold spring water trickling through the cracks. And there, peacefully quiet as can be, with views that are something to behold, lies my happy place.

my new sweater and i are already fast friends.

We headed to this perfect little corner of the world spontaneously in the middle of the week and arrived just as autumn was unfurling her last bit of glory, that transition between the full, colorful trees and bare skeletons. As the golden rays of sunlight spilled into every nook and cranny, sifted through the trees, and made the world sparkle, we spent the afternoon wandering, exploring, photographing, climbing, laughing. And as cliche as this sounds, it made me want to run through the fields, hair loose and free, yelling "I love life!". Because despite the hardships, I really truly do.

Where's your happy place?

xo

waffles + rain

I like Saturdays. Simple, relaxed, cozy -- just how I like it. And when you throw in an early morning, making waffles for the fam with the radio on and rain drumming on the roof? Perfection. I prefer to be alone in the kitchen, mixing, sifting, creating, waiting for the moment when I can open the door and walk out with a steaming platter of goodness. And so I can take photos undisturbed, too, of course ;)

But now it's the beginning of a new week, work and school have resumed after Thanksgiving break, and the quiet loveliness of Saturday is just a distant memory. I'm looking back at photos, counting down the days until Christmas -- just eighteen days until break! -- and listening to Crazy Girl on repeat (in other words, I am such a sap). I love my folk+indie artists, but there's something about country music that gets me every time. I blame my Texas roots.

What's your idea of a perfect Saturday morning?

everyday moments: a collaboration

I was going to write about how Thanksgiving started off with a bit of a heavy heart for me, how I felt the familiar pang of wishing my family wasn't so strewn about, how I had a meltdown Wednesday evening. But here's the thing -- though preceded by tears and frustration, Thanksgiving this year worked out and even went to become one of my favorites. Maybe we didn't have a house bursting with family and friends, but we had a house bursting with love and thankfulness. So why focus on the bad when I could be focusing on the good?

This Thanksgiving, I was overflowing with gratitude, especially for the wonderful people in my life. I've never been the girl that has myriad of friends, but the friends I do have are so, so dear to me. This past year I've made and strengthened so many relationships in my life and I've had one of the best years to prove it. So instead of rattling off a long-winded list of the many things I'm grateful for, because I could be here forever and a day doing just that, I realized this year just how thankful I am for the wonderful people that support me, cheer me up, listen to me spill out my heart at two in the morning, and still love me even when they've seen just how insane I can get.   I'm thankful for every single one of you and honestly can't imagine life without y'all.

. . .

And now, everyday moments. Grateful for those too. Especially because they show how fleeting every second is, and how nothing should be taken for granted. November was a good month, though all too short as usual, but the little breaks from routine added to its quiet loveliness. And I'm leaving this month of thanksgiving with a vow to be thankful all the time. Because God doesn't only bless us thirty days of the year, does he? No, he's always there, providing during the other three hundred and thirty-five days too. And we should be remember to be thankful then, too.
Be sure to swing by Ellie's blog to see her November everyday moments!

As usual, I've rambled. I am too long-winded for my own good. But now, I'm going to get lost in paper snowflakes and She & Him Christmas music and lights. Christmas is calling -- I'm not going to ignore it.

How was your Thanksgiving?

xo, carlotta

ps want to get some extra traffic to your blog/shop for christmas? now's your chance -- I'm accepting sponsors for december! please email me for information if you're interested.

it sweeps shut

Dusk falls. I wait. I wait for that moment of sudden transition, when the fading blue-grey light, tinged by violet, settles into velvety black, like a curtain closing after a show at the theater, swiftly and silently. The curtain sweeps shut earlier and earlier now -- I'd forgotten what night at 5:30 is like. I miss the long, tranquil, deliciously perfect summer evenings, smiling, carefree, stargazing, my back flat against a quilt, and hands stretched behind my head. But summer is behind us now; we only have next year to look forward to. Thank goodness seasons shift and we're not left to the same thing month after month -- I crave change.

My mind flits back to the present. I'm sitting in my chair at my desk, the window on my left prominently displaying the quiet beauty of a cloudy November sunset. Save for the lone lamp casting a wreath of golden glow, the room is dark. The trees are nothing by gnarled, twisted silhouettes jutting out against the sky, slightly ominous in the pale light. An airplane flies by, just a blip on the horizon, its lights twinkling. It's darker each time I glance from paper to window. And so another day ends. Another twenty-four hours that have slipped into night, which will eventually fade into the dawn of tomorrow. 

But though I lament the fact that time passes by far too quickly, in the first sleepy moments of consciousness the next morning, I am filled with joy and excitement that I am blessed with another day to fill. I am grateful for new days and November sunsets.

And now, the curtain is almost closed, the transition about to happen. I shouldn't miss it.

keep your head up.

My heart hurts for them. It hurts for the girls who, all around me, constantly lament how "fat" they are and eat nothing but salad, girls who pile on makeup starting at the age of nine, girls who are overcritical about their appearance. If beauty is defined as tall, slim, perfect hair and porcelain-smooth skin, it only drives girls into despair, lost in the throes of self-consciousness. The truth is, there is no definition of beauty. I've seen stunningly gorgeous women of every skin color, shape, and size. Why should a certain group of people behind the media dictate what beauty is? The models on the covers of magazines are digitally enhanced anyway, airbrushed and contorted until they're just pretty pieces of plastic.



I know it's hard. God knows I've struggled with feeling worthless and ugly many times. I've looked at my body and seen nothing but a shapeless form, I've seen myself in the mirror and been disgusted at the figure looking back at me. But I've come to be thankful that I have a body at all. And I've been learning and growing and discovered it's okay to be different from models. And yes, I know that "the only beauty that really matters is on the inside", but as women, we crave to feel beautiful on the outside too. So keep your head up, beautiful. Don't despair. God has made you fearfully and wonderful and you're beautiful just the way you are.

much love.

the highlights

Sometimes there are afternoons where the light is waning and no one is really doing anything important. So, obviously, that entails a little photoshoot. Lilly and I had fun experimenting with sunflare and making silly faces and dancing around the room.

Tonight, I spent the evening in sweats, playing cards and eating stirfry with chopsticks. It's been a busy, full day and now I'm in my favorite chair, writing and listening to the screeches of laughter emitting from the couch. I think every day should end like this. And evenings like these make me reflect and make me so, so grateful to blessed with this crazy thing called life.

Highlights from this week:

the following conversation I overheard. MeMe: Lilly! I got a lawsuit, yes! I get to sue him! Lilly: oh MeMe, you are just so good! MeMe: oh dang it, I lost my job. now I'm going to be homeless. woo! I'm engaged! Lilly: car accident, pay ten thousand...darn. (the house is always interesting when the girls are playing life)

...

the unexpected rain + thunderstorms on monday

...

time spent with my partner-in-crime (aka bestfriend), Reagan

...

the perfect weather for a dress + cardigan + tights/knee high socks + boots

...

new books from the library to read over break

...

a pretty fall photo session with the cutest little family

...

a cold night by a cozy fire, coloring with the littles and laughing

What were some highlights from your week?

much love.

the world as seen from the stoop.

So we meet again. Just when I thought it was too late in the year for bare feet and stoop sitting, the weather turns. And as I write this, I find myself back outside, on the stoop, barefoot. Barefoot and with a bowl of ice cream in hand, chocolate with chocolate chunks. The scrape scrape scrape of my spoon rings out loudly into the early evening as I scoop up the last dregs of melted goodness. And as the sun slips lower and lower to the horizon, where it will eventually fade away, I'm lost in golden-hued fallen leaves and the earthy smell surrounding me.



I like the way the leaves crunch and crackle underfoot, like a long, drawn out solo in the symphony of late autumn. At the same time, though, I can't help but feel a little sad that the jewels softly blanketing the ground now used to adorn the trees, now void and stark against the sky.


I've made it to Thanksgiving break, my first respite since summer, and I'm oh so happy. I plan to fill my seven days of nothing with reading, crafting, writing, knitting, catching up on sleep (why am I always so tired?), eating good food, and going on excursions. I'm excited for this week to commence.

i cut little sister's hair. i don't think it looks half bad.

And now, the sun is almost gone and my toes are frozen from the cold concrete. But first, to celebrate the beginning of the break, I've put together a little playlist of my November favorites.

What are some songs you've been crushing on lately? (if you're viewing this post in a reader, you'll have to click through to see the playlist.)

Happy Wednesday!

xo


ps i spruced up abbey's blog a bit -- what do you think?

the future

Being a teenager is wrought with uncertainty, decisions, frustrations, and some of the best times of your life. But there are also some of the hardest times. How I can, having seen so little of life, be able to choose a career? Find a college? Know what I want to do with my life? Sometimes I want to give up. I feel in adequate and not ready. All this scares me, honestly. Wouldn't it just be easier to go back to elementary school, where college was just a distant unknown and the present delightfully simple?

I've always looked forward to being a "grown up", being able to do whatever I want to do and not having to be dictated by what a superior tells me. But now? Now that I'm so close to the age I longed to be all those years ago? I cower. I hide in the corner, I turn a blind eye, I pretend that it's too far in the future to worry about. But it's still there. Lurking. A source of excitement and something that scares me to death at the same time. It's part of growing up, I know, but that doesn't lessen the anxiety.


I wrote a new looking forward list last night. The list I'd written in early September helped me get through fall -- and even made me grow to adore it. And since I'm kind of dreading winter, and to help me see that the future isn't always bad, I wrote another one.

....

looking forward / winter 

thanksgiving, christmas, and the breaks that accompany both

getting a christmas tree + christmas music 

midnight candlelight christmas eve service (I really love christmas, can you tell?)

fires + hot chocolate + hot apple cider + letter writing

the first snow

a trip with my dad to canada (more on that soon)

starbucks dates

....

Winter isn't looking so bad after all. And when it comes to the not so great part of being this age...I know I can get through it with the help of Christ.

What are you looking forward to?

Happy Monday!

xo

the big white house

I live in a white house sprawled across two lots. It's only been two and a half years since we moved in, but it feels like home. The neighbors across the street have dubbed it "the happy house"; it's not unusual to see all the little girls of the neighborhood laughing and drawing with chalk and playing in worlds of their own in the front yard.

I live in a house that creaks with age -- the wood floors, windows, and walls. Sometimes I wander through the rooms, running my hand across the walls that were built in 1934, dreaming about the family that lived here like us fifty years ago. What kind of secrets are hidden within the plaster? What kind of things has this house seen?

I live in a house with lots and lots of windows. I like the way the setting sun pours in, casting rippling shadows and pooling in puddles of liquid gold on the floor, transforming everything for twenty precious minutes. And when darkness falls, I like the way the lights get switched on, one by one, making the house feel warm and cozy and safe.

I live in a house that's more than a house. It's a home. Behind the peeling layers of paint, the old wallpaper, there are stories. It's steeped in tradition, filled with family; stories are etched into the foundation, they're what hold it up. Our home is like an additional family member. It cradles us, supports us, listens and soaks up each and every moment of life. And for that, I wouldn't trade it for anything.



what's your home's story?