this year

It seems by the alarming lack of calendar spaces that 2011 has nearly slipped by. How can this be? I still find myself thinking it's April -- I'm not entirely sure where the time goes.
This year has been an experience, that's for sure. Just like every year, there were good days and bad days. I learned more about myself and who I am, and have grown so much as a person. I'm leaving this year behind with some regrets, yes, but I'm also leaving it behind with so many warm memories.







This year, I relished each little moment more. Writing become a passion, I found my own little niche in the world, and learned why I blog. I met people through this little thing called blogging that I've grown so close to, and starting exploring more into the world of fashion. I traveled, lots. This summer broke records in terms of heat, but I've never had a season that was so wonderful. I turned another year older...and hopefully another year wiser, too. My sister Alina visited for a month, I scored the best thrifting find of my life and there were early mornings consisting of waffles and rain. I discovered my happy place and launched Red Currant.






2011 was a year of excitement and planning, of discovering and growing as a person. This year wasn't perfect, but every single trial was placed there by God to strengthen my faith. Honestly, looking back? I wouldn't change a thing. My only new year's resolution for 2012 is to live fully and appreciate this life that has been given to me.

How was your 2011? Any new year's resolutions? Do tell!

***
ps I have a few advertisting spots left -- interested in sponsoring pastor's girl's ponderings in the new year? don't hesitate to contact me!

have a cup of cheer

On Christmas Eve, after the dishes had been washed and put away, the presents wrapped, the fire reduced to embers, we slipped out into the night in a cloud of perfume and fancy clothing. Later, as we stood in a darkened sanctuary at midnight, singing carols by candlelight, I remembered just how much I loved this time of year. I stood there in a silent reverie, soaking in the moment, imprinting it on my mind. And when the service ended, I tucked the memory away, to be opened and unfolded in the future like a comforting quilt.





Christmas was wonderful. It was shrouded in a heart-warming cloak of family, friends and food -- lots of it. The day went as quickly as it came, though. I'm always a bit sad when all the weeks of anticipation are suddenly ended in twenty four short hours. But amidst the piles of wrapping strewn about the living room (all those beautifully wrapped packages laying there in a heap! so sad.), the second and third and fourth helpings of food, the kind of laughter that makes your sides ache, memories were made. And in the end, that's all that really matters.




How was your Christmas, lovelies?

the true meaning

Christmas has been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember. I like the flurry of excitement, the food, the traditions that are wrapped around the season and tied neatly with a bow. But this year...maybe it's because I'm getting older and some of the magic has faded or the fact that time is simply going too quickly, but that little seed of Christmas cheer that's usually planted in the beginning of December just wasn't there this year. Feelings of excitement and joy were replaced with stress and exhaustion -- and the harder I tried to get that cheer, the less I succeeded.
Until I realized something; those things aren't what this time of year is about. It's not about feeling merry and bright -- it's about the quiet anticipation of the birth of our Savior, who humbled himself to be born of a virgin, who died the death of a criminal on a cross. For us. He who is perfectly holy and perfect hung on a cross, for our sins, so that all who believe in him may live in Heaven eternally.

That's what should be on my heart this Christmas, not lamenting the fact that my enthusiasm is missing. And I found, that once I focused on the true meaning, the excitement for December 25th came with it.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, which brings the eleven pm candlelight service, my absolute favorite of the year. I am excited to spend a weekend of family and food, excited to relish in festivities, and most of all, excited to celebrate the birth of our Lord.

And because I can't bear to go without my favorite Christmas video ever...


Merry, merry Christmas, friends.

rainy afternoons

I know this is cliche, but I really love the rain. I like the way it taps out a melody that says listen to me, the way it makes snuggling up with a blanket and a book that much better, the way it makes the room dark in the middle of the afternoon.



The rain and warmer weather is causing the trees to be all confused -- they're in a strange transitional phase. Some leaves are still green, some brown and crackly, some completely barren, and then there are the ones that are budding. Yes -- budding. Oklahoma seasons are always interesting.






The best way to spend a rainy afternoon is sitting in bed, watching the droplets fall in rapid succession, eating cappuccino cookie dough ice cream (my own invention, thankyouverymuch) and knitting by the glow of the lights strung through my headboard. I probably could have stayed there the rest of the day.

I'm off to go eat a grapefruit sprinkled with sugar. Christmas break is already off to a glorious start.

the sound of silence

I am constantly surrounded by sound. Music, people's voices, the cars outside, the pitter-patter of rain or the whistle of the wind. And sometimes, the constant stream of noise suddenly crosses that line, switching from enjoyable to unbearable and my head starts to pound. Sometimes, I just need silence.

When I turn everything off and let the quiet slowly descend, wrapping around me like a cloak, it feels as if though I am taking a deep breath. It's a pleasant kind of silence, swirling around me and settling on my shoulders. The quiet washes over me and fills my ears and I can feel myself start to relax.







Maybe it's the unusual weather, or the stress of the past week (finally on christmas break as of yesterday, hallelujah!), but I've been in a pensive, quiet, observant mood lately. Call me anti-social, but lately I've honestly preferred to sit alone with my writing than having to go out and talk to other human beings. I've been writing letters to people that I'll never send, sitting at my desk staring at the slate-grey sky, and unintentionally dressing in rather sober colors (need to get some more color in my winter wardrobe). Winter's kind of depressing sometimes, I have to confess. But for now, I'll try to throw myself into the Christmas spirit and sit in silence and write.

***

ps I'm currently in the process of updating my faq page -- any questions you have that you'd like for me to include? feel free to leave them here or via email. thanks friends!

salted caramel brownies

There's a certain beauty about the baking process. The way sifted flour creates a thin white powdery layer along the bottom of a shiny metal bowl, or watching chocolate slowly morph into liquid, or the feel of dough in your hands, kneading and shaping. I like how simple ingredients, when combined and mixed and swirled, create something totally different.



Salted caramel is one of my favorite combinations. (my favorite thing at starbucks is the salted caramel mocha. mmm.) The sweet, slightly nutty taste balanced out by sea salt gets me every time. But when this mixture is folded into brownies...hello, heaven just got a little bit closer. The flavors meld together so well, I just close my eyes and savor.



While you could use store-bought caramel, the taste that comes with making your own is so much better. While it may seem daunting, it's really not that difficult at all -- it just takes a watchful eye and a steady arm to stir. It helps to have everything you need already laid out, as once you have the sugar in the pan, everything happens pretty quickly afterwards.



These brownies are pretty dang heavenly, guys. And here's how to make them.

salted caramel brownies

for the brownies:

* 3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

* 1 stick (8 tbsp) unsalted butter

* 3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder

* 3 eggs

* 1 cup granulated sugar

* 2 tsp vanilla extract

* 1 cup all-purpose white flour

* 1/2 tsp sea salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and butter an 8-inch square baking pan. In a double boiler (or bowl set over boiling pot of water), melt together the chocolate chips and butter, stirring until smooth. Stir in the cocoa powder and set aside. Whisk together the eggs, vanilla, and sugar until combined. Stir in the melted chocolate, then gently add the flour and stir just until combined. Pour half of the brownie batter in the pan and spoon the caramel sauce until surface is covered. Add the rest of the brownie batter and spread some more sauce until everything is covered. Run a butter knife through the batter to create swirls. Bake until slightly puffed and a inserted toothpick in the center comes out with a few sticky crumbs, about 25 minutes. Cool to room temperature, about 2 hours, and drizzle with extra caramel sauce and sea salt.

For the salted caramel sauce:

(note: this recipe makes enough for two batches of brownies)

* 1 cup granulated sugar

* 6 tsp unsalted butter, room temperature

* 2/3 cup heavy cream

* 1 tsp fine sea salt

Heat the sugar over medium heat in a sauté pan. Whisk as the sugar melts, about five minutes. This burns very quickly -- don't stop stirring! Some sugar will harden into clumps; this is normal. Keep on whisking until the sugar turns a dark amber color. Whisk in the salt and butter all at once and stir until incorporated. Remove pan from heat and add heavy cream (it will foam up when first added). Continue to whisk until you have a smooth sauce.

Enjoy! xo

the christmas tree

I built a fort today. With sheets, pillows, blankets, and binder clips to hold everything together. It's been years since I've created a little lair for myself, but I like the idea of having a tiny, cozy space away from everything to read, write, and dream in. And now I'm curled up in my nest, relaxing at the end of a busy, productive day.







Yesterday we finally got our Christmas tree. We're always a bit late with these kind of things -- December ninth is actually fairly early for us. We used to live right next to a Christmas tree farm and one of my favorite traditions every year was piling in the truck for the two minute drive to hunt and search for the perfect tree. And afterwards we'd warm up with hot cocoa in the little red house and crunch on peppermint candy canes.






We live in the city now and Home Depot is just that much more convenient and cheaper and closer...but there's something so lovely about going outside in the cold to pick and chop down the tree yourself.

What's your Christmas tree tradition?