reagan.

Reagan has taking ballet for thirteen years. The little I know about dancing is mostly gleaned from our conversations and the ballets we've attended together. This girl is ridiculously graceful and beautiful, guys, and it had to be captured.

On a sunny Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago, the click of the shutter echoed throughout the quiet, empty parking garage as Reagan posed and we laughed in between frames. We probably could have continued shooting all day, were it not for the security guard that threw us out. Yes, that happened. We got the heck out of there, but like many memories, it's ten times more hilarious looking back.

Reagan, I love our late night talks and silly rants and our general craziness. You're the best sister/friend/"enemy"/person ever and I love you so much.

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ps thank you all so incredibly much for your kind words on the relaunch. so blessed to have readers like you!

finding your voice || carlotta cisternas

The longer I've been established and grown in the blogging community, the more something has become increasingly apparent. It's something that can become hidden underneath a thick layer of determination to be the perfect blogger, the perfect person. There is a pressing need to conform into somebody--something--you're not until all that's left is air swirled thickly with falsity plastered behind screens.

One of the things I'm very passionate about is finding your voice and making use of it. It can be easy to get lost in the rules and regulations that, when followed, are supposedly a recipe for success. It can be easy to become so driven to become the perfect blogger that you lose your own voice in the process. But pretending to be somebody you're not isn't what this whole journey is about. There's only one you. Why give up that precious, unique identity in favor of mimicking that one blogger everyone wants to be like?  Don't become discouraged because you have different tastes and opinions, or heck, a whole different life. Because the fact of the matter is: there is only one you, with a very unique heart, mind, and voice. It shouldn't be wasted.

This is the launch of Carlotta Cisternas. This is my voice, coming out stronger and clearer than before, breaking out of its shell. pastor's girl's ponderings has finally been laid to rest and I'm glad to be emerging fresh. Along with my dear friend Hannah--who's also just launched her new site!--I've been working and planning for this day for weeks and weeks...and I'm so excited that it's finally here.

Don't worry though; it's still the same Carlotta, with the same photographs and the same posts--just a different name and different look. Feel free to explore the new site, take a peek at the updated pages, and let me know what you think. I can't wait for the next part of this journey to begin.

tie & glasses

I'm currently scrambling to finish up some changes to this space that will launch this Friday the 27th, hence the quietness around here lately. I have so much great material to share and things to finally unveil and I can't be more excited to show y'all--just a few more days! And until I'm back on Friday, I'll leave you with a shot of this boy that can't get any cooler. He inherited my old camera over the weekend and I cannot get enough of having him as a shadow, snapping shots everywhere. He's the best.

Catch ya on the flip side!

things to be happy about, v.5

I'm convinced that the days between pressing "place order" and the package arriving on your doorstep are the longest days ever. It's always a test in my patience, hah! In the middle of a piano lesson, my sister and I heard the rumble of a truck, looked out the window, and screamed simultaneously. The doorbell rang and there was a pretty box on my front step, containing an even prettier nikon d90. This camera is phenomenal, guys...and is there anything better than that snap happy new camera feeling? I think not.

Adding to my things to be happy about list...

sipping coffee on a thunderstorm-y afternoon | brainstorming for new projects | a blank page and a pencil | chocolate haupia pie | pulling weeds in the garden | chats with friends over caramel mochas | freshly painted nails | sharing a bed with little sisters | muscles sore from working out | group skype calls with best friends | late nights at the movies | writing poetry in the sun | new cameras

What are some things on your happy list?
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are you lucia? if so, you just won yourself a copy of kinfolk volume three! congratulations! please email me to claim your prize.

the ham | lillian esther

I've been making it a point to photography my siblings regularly--just a few series of images here and there to document their personalities so I won't forget (see MeMe's here). And Lilly...where do I even start? She is the biggest ham; I do not exaggerate. Maybe it's youngest child syndrome, but her determination to be different from the rest of the family makes me smile. She's quick to laugh, quick to cry, quick to pull a silly face and oh, does that girl know how to use her charm to her advantage. She navigates computers and phones and iPads quicker than I can and is reading her first chapter books. I could probably fill a book with her silly quotes (she started a club with my brother called "the baddest kids in america". I cannot make this stuff up) and I swear she is really a monkey.

Lillian Esther...I love you, you sweet crazy ham of a girl.

kinfolk volume three [a giveaway]

Have I gushed enough about the amazing-ness that is Kinfolk Magazine yet? No? Well you're about to hear more about it. Simply put, it's an exploration deep into the roots of what brings people together and the bonds that are created over the simple act of sharing a meal together. It is the single most beautiful magazine I've ever had the privilege to hold and own. When I am reading it, I want to try new things and travel. It fills me with inspiration and it is the kind of publication that draws you in and makes you want to study every little detail. I reread each volume several times, but it's not repetitious. No, on the contrary, it's like I'm reading it for the first time again. It is, in a word, stunning--and I mean that with every fiber of my being.




Today, Louis (who has just started blogging again as of today!) and I are giving away a brand spankin' new copy of volume three, which was just recently released. Guys...I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful a magazine this is. Even if you don't win the giveaway (which I hope you do!), I strongly encourage you to get a copy for yourself. It's so worth it.



Want to win? Just leave a comment below telling us about a little tradition you have in your family.

For extra entries (please leave a separate comment for each):

+ follow pastor's girl's ponderings
+ follow Louis's blog
+ tweet about the giveaway (be sure to include @pastorsgirl and a link to this post so we can track it)

Giveaway ends on Tuesday, April 17th at 9:59pm CST.

Good luck!

this dream.

photos taken in new mexico, summer of 2011

Spring break has faded into oblivion and summer seems tantalizingly close yet impossibly far at the same time. And in this in-between time, I have this notion. It's one that's been buried deep in my heart--one that sounds terribly appealing, no matter how silly or romantic, far-fetched or unrealistic it may be.
I'd like to go on a roadtrip through North America, over the course of a few weeks, with no set plans or directions. No internet, save for the occasion email checking and photo posting--I need to get away from the constant bombarding of information and focus on what's in front of me. I'd like to drive and drive and drive, stopping to climb the dusty crimson mesas of the southwest, splash in the salty blue green beaches of California, and explore the secluded islands and coves of Oregon. I'd like to find the perfect orange grove and glide under a velvety night sky in the middle of nowhere, stars scattered about like the most precious of jewels. I'd like to make new friends, take changes, and be spontaneous.
I am a dreamer. I am one of those people that comes up with idea after idea, but leave them in the dusty corners of my mind, never brought to fruition. But this dream? This dream I can see so clearly and wonderfully? This is one I'd like to make a reality.

(the perfect roadtrip playlist)

What's a dream trip you'd like to take?

my blushing face

Taking things for granted can be so easy. When you are used to it being there everyday for you, always steady and unwavering, it's not hard to forget about it and just live your life. But more and more, I've been realizing the things that I've been taking for granted are things that are entirely precious and should be cherished, like the relationship with my family and friends. What if one of them suddenly died? Would I be plagued with if-onlys and regrets? Would I live in sorrow over the things I hadn't done and the things left unsaid? I've realized that I love you should be said often and it is important to show that you care.

And as for my faith...I've taken that for granted too. I've been a Christian all my life. I've never been persecuted for my faith. In his hymn, Alas and Did my Savior Bleed, Isaac Watts says something that strikes deep within my heart:

"Thus might I hide my blushing face while his dear cross appears; dissolve my heart in thankfulness, and melt mine eyes to tears."

Tomorrow we celebrate Christ's triumphant resurrection from the dead, and I am sitting here with a convicted heart, hiding my blushing face. When I think about the lashings, the bloody agony, the worst pain known to man that Christ went through for me, and realize that I've taken it for granted? It's humbling. I wholeheartedly love Jesus and consider my faith to be strong...but it could be so, so much stronger. My old sinful self still screams and kicks, not wanting to be fully surrendered to Christ. It is horrifying to think that my black, awful sin drove the nails that pinned Jesus to the cross. But at the same time, it is incredibly awe-inspiring to think that he took my place, that his wounds paid my ransom, and that his dying breath gave me forgiveness and life.

I am humbled and thankful for his limitless grace.

Happy Easter, friends.

the rocky shoreline

water lapping up against the rocky
shoreline, murmuring and rippling in a
song of old, whispering stories that
one must lean in closely to catch snippets
as the light breaks through the slate cotton clouds
speckling the sky with azure patches.
the landscape beckons quiet listening:
to the northeast wind and twittering birds
and the gentle splish splash of the lake-shore.
(c) carlotta cisternas

It's spring break, which calls for wonderful spring break-y things like going to the lake on a Wednesday morning. Under a mass of foggy clouds, the lake shore was rimmed in shades of green as the water slipped and slid smoothly over the rocks. I alternated between hiding out in the car, to warm up my chilled fingers, and sitting by the deserted lake, writing with the wind whipping my face. Later, the sun came out and the sky cleared--I soaked up the warmth and laughed until I was left gasping for breath.

Can't it always be spring break?
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ps I joined the cool cats and made a tumblr. I know, I know, but I'm happily eating my I-swear-I'll-never-get-one words. check it out? carlottacisternas.tumblr.com

painting shadows

Early mornings in our house are quietly peaceful. The smell of breakfast wafts lazy from room to room as the eastern sun paints shadows on the floors. More often than not, I hit the snooze button one more time to catch a few more minutes of sleep, but sometimes I slip out in the dawn with a blanket and my journal. The cat usually comes running, intertwining herself around my legs and licking her fur lazily in the sunlight, pink tongue darting in and out.
Early mornings are such a sacred time to me. I like having a whole day ahead to fill and making each moment count. It lends itself to get up a bit earlier to steal a few moments for myself and to avoid the rush. Take a little extra time choosing an outfit, embracing the sunrise, sipping your coffee slowly. It's worth it, promise.

What do mornings look like for you?